Immuno-(im?)(de?)(sup?)pressed

I have a hard time realizing that I even lived through the eighties. I can easily watch movies on HBO like Earth Girls Are Easy and Vision Quest and completely disconnect myself from the setting, freely commenting to myself in my head how funny the clothes and haircuts were. I can never seem to remember that I witnessed all of that in person and that who I am now is partly (mostly?) a result of living through that time period. I had practically blocked it out completely until I recently came across a picture on the internet of some people I was friends with in high school. Witness for yourself. Pay particularly close attention to the haircuts in the back row. They are…well…let’s just call it awesome*.

Remembering those days again, I can now put an excuse to the fact that I have zero fashion sense today (ask any woman or gay guy I know if you don’t believe me). Sure, I’ll go shopping with women and let them tell me what to buy every chance I get. There are problems with this concept, though:

• I will often refuse to buy certain items especially if they fit too tightly. I’m told that my version of too tight is looser than most people’s version of loose (that’s what she said).
• After purchases are made, I will often forget or neglect to wear items I was told to wear because I have second thoughts about how they look on me.
• I will not wear combinations of garments as directed. I wear the wrong items together, thus destroying the plan to make me any sort of stylish.
• I lose stuff. Don’t ask me how I lose clothes it’s not like I haven’t been sleeping in the same house every night for the last 7 years.
• I mostly don’t care.

Now I know where my “could give a fuck” attitude stems from. As daring as kids tried to be with fashion when I was young, we were often off the mark and weren’t able to see it without hindsight. These I’m not willing to go out on any limbs TRYING to be fashionable anymore. I can just say to everyone I meet “I’m not fashionable” and then I don’t have to worry about it.

We, the Eighties Generation, did give you some great stuff, though. We gave you:

• Day Glow
• Leg Warmers
• Ripped Jeans
• Dyed Jeans
• Jeans in colors other than blue and not just black
• Cutoff Jeans
• SHIT WE LOVED JEANS
• Flannel Shirts (one on you wear on your back and one you tie around your waist)
• Dying your hair unnatural colors
• Headbands for occasions other than playing tennis
• High tops for occasions other than playing basketball
• Slip on shoes in checkered patterns
• Clippered hair cuts that didn’t include shaving your whole head and that were not necessarily symmetrical
• Underwear as outerwear
• Singularly gloved hands
• Safety pins both as jewelry and as a way to hold parts of your clothes together

I could go on but I’ll just stop by saying “You’re Welcome!”

*Stop looking for me. I’m not in the picture and while I will not deny having haircuts similar to the guys (and some girls) in the picture, I cannot openly admit to it in good conscience.