At the risk of sounding pretentious, I hate to admit to people that I have a maid. But believe me, for a single straight male who lives with another single straight male, if I ever want a female to even walk through my front door, a maid is a necessary expense, not a luxury. [...]
Anyone else ever spent an hour looking at the list of people you went to high school with on Classmates.com and thought to yourself afterward “I really care about almost none of these people.”
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Spray on fake tan
Eat daily granola flake
Superglue nipples to inside of dress
Head up
Chest out
Clench ass cheeks
Smile…
Smile…
Smile…
Think about question round “How do you feel about congress passing bill to fund future war efforts without a timeline for getting our troops out of Iraq”…
Oh yeah, and as you plan your strategy [...]
Also posted in Balloons, Drama, Drugs, Family Prostitutes, Iguanas, Japan, Kripy Kreme, Maids, Melons, Money, Music, Shoes |
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If I seem off lately, I am. I’m feeling the effects of taking a new immunosuppressant drug as of yesterday. The study drug I was on is no longer available to me and apparently I won’t be able to take it again until/if it goes to market. [...]
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Rebel’s first day at the dog park and this is who he meets:
A) Tennis Ball Lady – TBL is an interesting breed. She carries around a long plastic stick with a cup at the end that fits a tennis ball. She puts the ball in the cup, [...]
Happy birthday to me,
Happy birthday to me,
Happy birthday, happy birthday,
Happy birthday to me.
Now you.
Those of you that can’t sing, send presents. Those of you that can sing, also send presents.
Also posted in It's All About Me |