Dear Readers,
I am enlisting you to help me sell my house. Word of mouth and the power of suggestion are the best selling tools at my disposal…you know…because it turns out the light bulb is actually not really the hot new invention my real estate agent said it was.
The truth is, three houses in my neighborhood have sold in the last two weeks, including the house across the street from mine, even though they didn’t have the light bulb. This is a good sign. Nothing in my neighborhood has sold in eight months and now, bam, three in a row. If that’s not a sign that our economy is on the rebound, nothing is (probably nothing is).
What I need from you is to tell three people every day that the recession is over and things are turning around. If you do this every day until my house sells, I will be extremely grateful. Those of you with blogs need to start making up some shit about how great things are again. How much money you’re making in the stock market. How everyone you know is getting all these great new jobs. How the senate thought the tax rebate was so successful they are sending out another check and this time they are tripling it. You know..shit like that.
Eternally Grateful,
Othurme
9 Comments
I’m not sure I speak to 3 people each day
… I’ll twitter it tho!
Recession? What recession? I was told that it was simply a “rough patch…”
Tori – I’ll need your twitter ID so I can check up on you and make sure you’re doing your part
Shiny – Please let whoever told you about this “rough patch” know that smooth patches are back in style.
Done and done!
Leezer – I knew I could count on you.
I hate to be the one to break this to you. If the lightbulb didn’t work, you’re fucked.
Shouting it from the rooftops. Can you hear me?
Gwen? What’s that you say? Gas just dropped to $0.85/gallon?
Liz – What if I get a black light? I bet that would be awesome!