>mebeliмебели стара загораo I come from some subset of the world population that was predisposed to end up believing that the best years of our lives are behind us?
I used to believe that it was just me, that I was some sort of mutant ball of depression that was happier in my younger days and believes he peaked as a teen. I look around me and see tons of other people that have great jobs, great spouses, great kids, great hobbies, great lives, and they just seem to exude this energy that everything is so wonderful now and the best part is still yet to come….and I just don’t get it. My life is by no means terrible, but truth is, and I’m sure you know this…I’m not all that happy right now. Also, I don’t see myself getting to a point where I’ll be happier soon. Also, it would take a lot of convincing to make me believe I could ever see my self walking a path that would lead me to being happier than I was when I was a teen. I USED to think it was just me….
…then I found Facebook and I reconnected with….well….everyone I’ve ever met. Now I’m finding I somehow managed to swim in this population pool of people who seem just as confounded by where their choices in life have lead them. It seems a large piece of my Facebook-Friends-Pie is not satisfied. Now I’m trying to figure out what exact subset of humans are we?
Is it my generation? Is X the “never gonna be happy” generation?
Is it my group of friends? Were the skaters, punkers, and mods just destined for nothing special?
Location? Are Californian children falsely told more than kids elsewhere that they can and will do great things?
Maybe it is just me.
11 Comments
I find myself always looking to the past as such a wonderful, good, fun and exciting time because I was younger (duh) and had the ability to do almost anything. That often brings in lots of regret for things I did and things I didn’t do.
Then the future is so full of unknowns. That makes me nervous and scared too! Seems I just can’t win.
I think that half of the reason that I act like I’m still 20 is because I don’t want to face the fact that I’m getting older. I have to admit that there is a part of me that often thinks that it is over, just because my youth is gone. I look at pictures from when I was 16 and 20 and wonder why I let myself get fat, go to shit, blah blah blah.
There’s another part of me that firmly believes that I could start life today and still do great things…my aunt did it, my Dad did it…..so I can too. I need to listen to that part more and just believe in who I am.
Sorry for rambling. I could have just said that I understand, hah.
your future is so bright that i gotta wear shades!
jer, i truly think that high school is the best time of our lives from the viewpoint that our emotions are all crazy with hormones and we technically really don’t have responsibility. fun, fun, fun. that being said though, the enjoyment i have with the freedom of not living under someone else’s roof and rules, the love i have for simple pleasures that i have as (gulp) an adult more than make up for the high i had under 18 years of age.
personally, i am holding tight to my outlook that life is good now and always has the potential to get better.
if i don’t, it will crush me. coz i totally appreciate what you are saying.
damn, did i really say anything there?
I think the key to success in muddling through all of these thoughts is to clearly identify what would make you happy.
You have something I am insanely jealous of. Memories of happiness as a teen
I came through childhood with parents that didn’t know how to be parents. They ended up divorced when I was 12 and should have gotten divorced when I was 8 to save us all the screaming and animosity. I ran away from home at 15 and it was a difficult haul after that.
I’m really proud of what I’ve accomplished in the intervening years. I’m starting to run into some of the same roadblocks as you though.
The economy has taken a shit bath and I’ve worked myself into a position where if I want to change things it’s a blind leap. A bad economy makes change extremely risky.
So back to my opener, what will make you happy? After that it’s commitment to working towards that goal and willingness to make big changes to do it.
I’ve made the big changes 3 times in my life. First was to leave my miserable home at 15. Second was to make the big move from a rural community to the big city where I could get better work at 21. The third was to leave my home country to the USA for better weather, a better job and distance my wife from the stresses of her family at 36.
It’s taking a lot longer to reach my goals that I started planning out at age 26. If things had gone the way I’d planned way back then I’d be living on a boat in the Virgin Islands. Alas, I am still in Burbank. But I’ve got a great wife who shares some dreams. It’s a a long way from the Virgin Islands but it’s a shitload further away from living on the street at 15.
I’m not sure the complete reasoning of this post came through in my writing.
I’m not really writing this post to point out how depressed I am. I have enough of those posts already.
It’s really just about how….I thought I was a minority and I’m actually very surprised to find that I’m not….at least among the people I’m friends with on Facebook.
It’s just odd to see so many unhappy people around me. Usually I’m the only one. Thought maybe it was the water.
Sometimes I think it’s just that we were all raised to believe in the fairy tale ending… the HEA (happily ever after). The problem with those stories is that they never tell you about bills, illness, stupid co-workers, being underpaid, car accidents, taxes, and a host of other things that make life miserable. The fact that no one really tells us that we have this shit to look forward to makes us dissatisfied with life when things like recessions and inflation hit us with both barrels. Try to have a Happy New Year anyway, Jerry. We’re still on for that pizza next time you come down this way. My treat.
hi.
I have two friends like this. The rest of us? We’re a pretty happy group. I guess about half of us are half full (I won’t say of what) and half of us are half empty. Even on a bad day, I’m optimistic. Maybe it’s environmental or maybe it’s genetic. Either way, I refuse to let anyone convince me that sleeping 12 hours at a time is a sign of depression.
you still there?
Becky – Just like you, I’m waiting to see if the idiot who owns this blog has anything left to say.